Sun dim

So
What if I decide to run and never turn back.
What if I take a run for the woods into the dark unknown to anywhere except any longer here.
Another what, but what would you do. If I decided I no longer can stay here.
That I no longer want any part of the bestest of bests I know you have for me, just because I can’t. I can’t any longer wait for my perfection. Wait for the next urge to want to become better.
A grinning smile and syrup like sweat on my dreading face. If I decide to turn away.
What do you know, what would I want. If I would run. Away. From you.
I would be done, even if I’m wrong. What, would you be looking for me.

I plead you let me go and keep me thinking I’m better off. Keep me thinking I can’t. Can’t never ever become. The strengthened ballerina you have whirling in my head. I’d run like an athlete. Away into my retreat. Away from you and haunted. Would you be waiting at the other end. In disguise, keep your mask on until I am too weak to move on again. Make me realize you are the circle I’ve been running in. That all realms are just circles and cycles and wherever I go I can’t go hiding from your stubborn-love embrace. And if I choose to keep myself going in circles, frightened and scared. How long before you release me into my own demise. And when that’s been, will you take me in? Will my demise be another step into your fiery-loving gaze.
A grinning smile and syrup like sweat on my dreading face, opening my eyes just to realize. You’re the circle I’ve been running in. The sun dim.

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