I find myself wondering

If I’d want to do it again

My life,

up til now

My youth

Maybe I wouldn’t be smart enough

to take what I wanted

It was all so messy

and unreal

and not enough

But that is just what I think today

Some other day

I would be grateful

and thankful

and just think of ways

to improve who I’ve become

and who I want to be

Now I don’t know

I just don’t know

It’s a bit sad

to not have a pure heart

to turn to

but what is a pure heart

does anyone really have one?

Is someone that swears by fidelity

yet drowns in someone else’s eyes

pure of heart

or is it just the way to be

I know this is just transit

But it does make good writing material

while weighing down

on living souls

I would want something else

More color

To be more present

More joy

More, so much of many more

I would be glad to have left

Can I fix this

How do I fix this

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