Not without me

You know there are things I want to say to you

Do to you

That I can’t.

I won’t allow myself to (do so).

You should not have to know that I want to

Dig 

With my hands

Deep

Into your past

To clutch that piece of the sky

That fluid feeling about the air

That you have made me glance at today.

You should not have to feel that

My heart wants to pound its way out into your brains

My throat wants to regurgitate the blessings you have once nibbled on but couldn’t get yourself to swallow. 

I. 

Can’t get myself to show

That this.

This is what I know. 

You need me. 

You might.

Do you? 

Through all the things that I am going through. I want to teach you. 

You can live free. Outside the abyss. 

You. You can. 

But I don’t want it for you. Without me. 

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