It is not enough

It is not enough to see

Not enough to dream

Not enough to try

Not enough to envision

It is only enough when all you had

All you know

All you are

Has been given

Is being shared

Until there is nothing left


Crimson path

You again!

I really, really hate you. I wish I could avoid you and get rid of you. But I am careful with what I wish for. Because every time you strike, it’s ‘poor me’ again.

You! How I wish you never knew me. Although I know you’re supposed to be good. You are nothing short of a curse.

How I wish I could hate you with a passion. But I can only hope for that much energy. For you make me so sleepy.

At first you give me cravings. Then you make me cranky. And after that you make me sleepy, picky. You also make me suffer. I fall ill at your hands. I can’t help but think that your only interest in me are evil plans. Yoy make me angry. And week. Though sometimes help me become humble and realise I am actually really fragile. That I nees love and care and everything I long to give, that I also deserve a caring hand.

I know you are supposed to bring me good. But I wish you were always good. Sometimes my faith gets shaken as I wonder ‘what more do I need to know and need to do God, can’t You just make it okay.’ So I don’t really talk to Him when you’re around. Because maybe I am doing something wrong.

I only wish that you are worth it. For if you prove you are not . . .I mean, I can’t only be in my twenties and already looking forward to menopause. If you actually aren’t any good, even if you are…would you please consider being kind to me.


I have loved you like the sea worships the moon

Obedient to your every whim

Breaking the silence by crashing myself unto rocks

for your attention

Making sure you’d know

You’re the only reason I rejoice

You were my only motive

And yet

While I am as vast as her and love as deep as she

You turned dark one day to never show your face again

I just wanted to tell you. Say it and let you know. That I am grateful to you. That  you excite me. Everyday in new ways. Very often, I miss this and don’t see you. But you are nevertheless working for my good. You are here for me. You keep me on my feet, strong and loving. Living and alive.

I just wanted to tell you. My world is crazy, but in the midst of it all, you  are my hope.

All I want is for people to heal. But is thus true though? Or is it just a fase?

I want them to heal and become their better selves.

Give them love. Show them their light. The one that they’ve stopped paying attention to.

And then I want to be the light. Too much to ask for, right. In at least one soul’s eyes.

To heal and be bright.

Not without me

You know there are things I want to say to you

Do to you

That I can’t.

I won’t allow myself to (do so).

You should not have to know that I want to


With my hands


Into your past

To clutch that piece of the sky

That fluid feeling about the air

That you have made me glance at today.

You should not have to feel that

My heart wants to pound its way out into your brains

My throat wants to regurgitate the blessings you have once nibbled on but couldn’t get yourself to swallow. 


Can’t get myself to show

That this.

This is what I know. 

You need me. 

You might.

Do you? 

Through all the things that I am going through. I want to teach you. 

You can live free. Outside the abyss. 

You. You can. 

But I don’t want it for you. Without me. 

Can I 

Some people see people and reply with disgust. 

Some people see people and only that; people. 

Some people see people and reply with pitty. Or hurt. Or fear. 

I see people. And I see their glory. Equally with their pitfalls. Equallu their fear and shame. Even when they have none. I see the fine lines between their skins. 

When I see you. I have to. Catch my breath. While you’re freefalling into the arms of death. I see you roaring alive. Like nothing I’ve ever met. 

Do I get to reach out my hand and scratch. The itch. The one thing you can’t get to by yourself. 

Do I get to reach out and hold. You in my arms. Make this moment the one thing you never forget. 

Can I see you in my eyes and smile. Bring you relief. Deliverance from all the things keeping you from getting ahead. 

We both move on. Within the bat of an eye. And we’re gone. Unlike the itch. Unlike the sorrow. Unlike the doubt.