There is this feeling today
There is this thing that I want today.
And it seems so big and scary and too far fetched
But there is this sense of determination.
besides that one voice.
Sounding like a big bad wolf.
Questioning and reminding me of my knack for failure.
“Why do I think I will actually be able to pull this off?” “Why do I think this will actually work for me?”
It is a voice that I’ve been hearing for so long and been believing too much.
Great philosophers and life coaches know the power of Pause.
I haven’t had one for so long.
I’ve only taken myself to the underlying state of existing
Jordan Peele’s Sunken Place maybe
Where the real world where I belong has become so distant and one world too far
It is where I haven’t given myself room to breathe, always looking over my shoulder, seeking to outdo the uneducated, undisciplined and utterly unloveable girl I was yesterday.
Sometime, somewhere, one of these days she will get her break.
But I don’t think that is today.
There is this thing that I want today, since yesterday
I just can’t seem to push the idea away.
While I am not remotely done shutting the big bad wolf up
Somebody who is greater than me
Someone that seems to know I can, he introduces me to this new thing
And the lonely wolf, who knows damn well I can do this
who has seen countless times that I have
starts telling his old tale again
Although he is really loud
I am positive hope-filled silence will drown him out