I summoned spirits and ghosts
in hopes of finding you
’cause maybe you had lost your heart
in the rages of this crazy world
where nobody really knows
what they’re doing
where they’re going
or who they really are

But not even they
dared set foot
in my den
after
the ravage
you had
left behind

………..all the walls broken into
all doors jolted open
every inch screaming your name
no corner free
the ceiling unhooked
the floor uprooted

what I had to do
with these
bare hands
what it took
to be
safe again

LOve
what is meant to be
always come back
will be
So they say

At least
our names will be called out together
when the last
of the broken hearts are named

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What is this . . .

What is this story
you told me about loving me
forever

What is this lie
you fed me
About being here for me
Forever

What is this confusion
I cannot shake
about you leaving
in the middle of the storm
you single-handedly brew

Aside

Reminder for healing

Here,

Inside the dark of this gloomy room

I feel like a foetus in a mother’s womb

Looking ahead to days of the past

And all I endured, becoming who I am

When I loved like there could never be tomorrow

Only to find out that tomorrows, though never promised, always do come.

I hope that when I am born

I can love again, in a way that is solely mine

just so loves I cannot harbor, don’t take their leave with mine.

***Whenever you get attached to something or someone, whatever of whoever, letting go will take time. Remember to heal. Always take time to heal. And forgive. Forgive whatever it is that was latched unto you and you had yourself latched unto, no matter their part in the process. Forgive yourself for allowing yourself to bruise yourself and the other party in such a way. Do heal. It makes everything better.

Trustee

I was fine until I saw your injustice

Up till then you and I were fine

For as long as I can remember, your every wish was also mine

When my eyes fell open to your hidden lies

I could no longer unsee them

They were as clear as day light

Before a wanderer’s eyes

Now I smile when you hurt me

Moan but softly when you thrust your daggers into my frail skin

When I am no longer here, only

Might your recovery begin.

Crimson path

You again!

I really, really hate you. I wish I could avoid you and get rid of you. But I am careful with what I wish for. Because every time you strike, it’s ‘poor me’ again.

You! How I wish you never knew me. Although I know you’re supposed to be good. You are nothing short of a curse.

How I wish I could hate you with a passion. But I can only hope for that much energy. For you make me so sleepy.

At first you give me cravings. Then you make me cranky. And after that you make me sleepy, picky. You also make me suffer. I fall ill at your hands. I can’t help but think that your only interest in me are evil plans. Yoy make me angry. And week. Though sometimes help me become humble and realise I am actually really fragile. That I nees love and care and everything I long to give, that I also deserve a caring hand.

I know you are supposed to bring me good. But I wish you were always good. Sometimes my faith gets shaken as I wonder ‘what more do I need to know and need to do God, can’t You just make it okay.’ So I don’t really talk to Him when you’re around. Because maybe I am doing something wrong.

I only wish that you are worth it. For if you prove you are not . . .I mean, I can’t only be in my twenties and already looking forward to menopause. If you actually aren’t any good, even if you are…would you please consider being kind to me.