It is a distant longing
That is too sacred for words
Too fragile to acknowledge
Too holy to describe
So one frowns
When it is displayed openly
When it is told freely
When it is broken off
Where fingers intertwine
Hearts sigh as one
Eyelids flutter together
And dreams beat one and the same drum
Words dry up
Sound is abomination
Tell tale, blasphemy
I feel like I have to stitch my heart back together
I saw the future and it hurt my eyes
I saw the truth and my heart exploded
No way to explain it
Greatness is the only word that fills my mouth
You are there
You are here
You have always been
You are truth
I hear you suggest
I sit back
relax my senses
and drop my head back
my drooping shoulders to straighten
and fold my hands on my belly button
You make your entree
pull up a chair beside me
and start singing your favorite song
you haven’t told me to
but I’ve already closed my eyes
Yet I still see them coming
the tears that wash your face
and worry away
you try and not let your voice break
yet the silence has this taunting echo
I stay still
Let you subdue
right before you get up and leave
I open my eyes
and catch a glimpse
of a mirage
Come back tomorrow, will you?
I hear you say, a bit too loudly
I nod, as if you’d see me
Knowing I’d never refuse
you close the door behind you
Last week you told me next week
before that, you said next month
I pull my collars closer
and face the wind
she is running wild and free
Yet I try to resist
what if she grabs hold of the wild in me
and take me away?
How will I know she’ll take me back to you
I guess I am thinking about you
If the sun doesn’t go down
I’ll be alright
because I’m thinking about you
Guess I’m thinking about you
If the moon doesn’t come out at night
I’ll be allright
because I’m thinking about you
Guess what, I am thinking of you
If the earth decides to leap around her axis
I’m still good
because you are as much here
as you are not
I am as much with you
as I am without
Inside the dark of this gloomy room
I feel like a foetus in a mother’s womb
Looking ahead to days of the past
And all I endured, becoming who I am
When I loved like there could never be tomorrow
Only to find out that tomorrows, though never promised, always do come.
I hope that when I am born
I can love again, in a way that is solely mine
just so loves I cannot harbor, don’t take their leave with mine.
***Whenever you get attached to something or someone, whatever of whoever, letting go will take time. Remember to heal. Always take time to heal. And forgive. Forgive whatever it is that was latched unto you and you had yourself latched unto, no matter their part in the process. Forgive yourself for allowing yourself to bruise yourself and the other party in such a way. Do heal. It makes everything better.
I have secrets.
I hold them.
Because you don’t like to hear.
You’ve never been one to listen.
I could write them to you.
If only you liked to read.
I can’t show them to you…
For your closed heart has made you blind
Why do your eyes light up
When she enters the oh so famous room
Where everybody who is expecting anybody
Always seems to find himself
Why do your eyes light up when hers fall into them
Why do you seek her eyes when you’re glad
Why do yours smile into hers, even when you’re feeling sad.
Why do your eyes light up and breath dreams into hers
While your holding somebody else’s hands.