Everyday

I want to love you

Like nobody’s ever loved before

I want to hold you

As if I’ll never see you again

But I know you’re not asking me to bring you the moon

You just want an everyday heart to love you and keep forever

I know I don’t want you to promise me diamonds and gold

But I just want your everyday heart to love and keep me forever

I want to make it

I know we can take it

Love to live with you

Life to be with you

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You carried my soul when my liver gave up

clothed my nakedness after I got spit out of the river

You drafted your own breath into my lungs

How was I to know death would be my first real life

How was I to know losing all I hold is the only way to gain true life

With each kiss, awakening anew

A draw for the heart, another for the lungs, several for the stomach, the esophagus, etcetera, etcetera.

Behold, death is a living thing on the altar of giving love.

If you can’t, love, I’ll pray

And whisper all our fears away

I’ll carry our burdens like they’re all my own

And show you love like you’ve never known

If you can’t, love, I’ll cry. And kiss every doubt out you’re eyes

My hands will hold our worlds, like their only mine

But remember you promised me, love. That our love is forever and there is nothing we cannot do, as long as I am here with you.

So if you can’t, I will.

I summoned spirits and ghosts
in hopes of finding you
’cause maybe you had lost your heart
in the rages of this crazy world
where nobody really knows
what they’re doing
where they’re going
or who they really are

But not even they
dared set foot
in my den
after
the ravage
you had
left behind

………..all the walls broken into
all doors jolted open
every inch screaming your name
no corner free
the ceiling unhooked
the floor uprooted

what I had to do
with these
bare hands
what it took
to be
safe again

LOve
what is meant to be
always come back
will be
So they say

At least
our names will be called out together
when the last
of the broken hearts are named

Aside

Reminder for healing

Here,

Inside the dark of this gloomy room

I feel like a foetus in a mother’s womb

Looking ahead to days of the past

And all I endured, becoming who I am

When I loved like there could never be tomorrow

Only to find out that tomorrows, though never promised, always do come.

I hope that when I am born

I can love again, in a way that is solely mine

just so loves I cannot harbor, don’t take their leave with mine.

***Whenever you get attached to something or someone, whatever of whoever, letting go will take time. Remember to heal. Always take time to heal. And forgive. Forgive whatever it is that was latched unto you and you had yourself latched unto, no matter their part in the process. Forgive yourself for allowing yourself to bruise yourself and the other party in such a way. Do heal. It makes everything better.

There’s a strain from loneliness on my back

Right between my shoulders

And it feels bittersweet

Like when you feel at home

But the house seems too empty

Like having wings to fly

But being scared of height 

Alone

With my own thoughts 

Makes me feel content 

I could get up and slay demons

Figure a way out

And plan roadtrips for myself

But lately

I have been feeling a strain on my back

Just between my shoulderblades

I can never tell how to stop the ache

Could it be 

Maybe

That a firm hand

On that place

Would make it go away

Could it be so

That maybe

A hand to hold on a long drive

Would make the strain stray? 

And leave me courageous on my own again