Church and the sexes

I would like for women in general, but especially Christian women, to be more comfortable with their sexuality. Because it is a fact that we are being taught to be ashamed of our own bodies and our own nature. To say this in a politically correct manner, would sound like ‘those of us that think we look bomb and beat and are wonderful beings that have a right to sexuality are being called ‘vain, bitch, horny, etc’. 
This absolutely does not mean that we can all do whatever the heck we feel like, but how about we learn to deal with our emotions and our bodies in a healthy way and get encouraged to do so. In stead of making fun of young girls or women that engage in behavior that we are uncomfortable with or saying that ‘they have an issue down there’, teach them and show them that there is a safe and healthy way to develop.
Of course there will be people that will not agree with what is being taught, just as I do not agree with the way men and women, boys and girls are treated differently in church. But I believe there is so much that needs to be changed about our perception of the sexes.
For example, if a little boy plays with his penis, he is likely to touch it a lot and show it off, parents beam with pride. But if a little girl as much as tries to walk around without panties or even gets her hands close to her vagina for anything else than washing it or taking her panties off  for whatever functional reason, we get uncomfortable. Why is that?
I have a serious problem with this. I am not sure why. But I think there is something to fix. What I am saying is, that girls need to learn and be encouraged just as boys to be comfortable with their bodies and reproductive body parts. So they will know what is what, what is where and then know how to protect themselves against predators, disease and what not. But also be proud of who they are. I don’t have it all figured out, but I know, again, stuff need to be fixed.
It is a pity that (young) people don’t believe they can be safe with their feelings in church, not necessarily because there are rules, but also because they do not believe that whatever they are feeling and going through is perfectly normal and can be dealt with.
As teenagers experience emotions as a tenfold of what older people/adolescents feel, it can be hard to figure stuff out. Parents and other caretakers are so uneasy about this subject and even about the ‘smallest’ things about life.
Example: The pastor makes an altar call. Sandra, Jessica, Leo and Harvy respond and go for prayer. As an usher watches them walk down the aisle, she stands ready with a clothe. Sandra reaches the ‘altar’ and lifts her hands in repentance and surrender, the tip of the back of her blouse lifts and you see a bit more of her butt. The usher rushes to her and covers her up. Leo is wearing skinny jeans and a shirt that also lift when he lifts up his hands. Nobody rushes to him. Jessica falls on her back during prayer. She hasn’t as much as touched the ground and is already covered up. Leo also falls on his back and lies there with his belly half exposed. But is only covered up after about a minute. No one was watching for him.
Now, this sounds somewhat petty, but I have seen it time and time again. Why not ‘protect’ the guy too? My loved ones say that women need to be more careful than men and should not sleep around, because they carry babies and they ‘pass stuff through’. But, don’t disease and spiritual conditions go from sperm to egg to child? Why are men not held responsible for the well being of children when they even as women have a major role in the lives of children. If a man has mental and spiritual issues, that will influence a child as much as a mother’s troubles would. Of course the impact would be on different ‘levels’, but nevertheless, the impact will be there.
Single motherhood is as broken as single fatherhood. Both man and women have their own influence on children and they are both crucial. Period. No, growing up with a mom is better than growing up with a dad alone, because mothers are natural caretakers and nurturers…that is not true. The term you would be looking for is ‘responsibility’. Yes, mothers have a natural sense for a lot of things that fathers would overlook. But guess what, fathers have a natural sense for a lot of things mothers would overlook to and even not be able to provide.
I do not believe that God made women as inferior beings or that God sent women with features that are more or less valuable then men’s. I think God wants us to be comfortable in our bodies in a healthy way. Biblical does not mean prude. Holy does not mean white washed, but rather unapologetic.
That was some rant. But seriously, church, we have to do something. Because being a woman or being a man equips you in a certain way in life, in Gods kingdom. And for us, women to put ourselves away or think we are better than men, can be considered as a complete waste. Both sexes have their blessings and it is up to us to make the most of everything we are.!


I was a born a baby, grew up to be a young lady and someday in the future I will be a woman. Most of the time that also means a wife and mom.
Somewhere along the way in my upbringing, the idea of being a girl became uncomfortable to me. Probably because being a girl meant having less rights and opportunities, but more responsibilities and shortcomings. I am just finding out some things about myself that migh imply that I don’t like second position. Well, I am being modest. Anyways, It is still uncomfortable to me to adjust to the idea of being a ‘Godly woman’. Pfft! A godly woman is expected to be modest, dress modestly, have a quiet heart, let men lead, bla bla bla. I remember watching video’s on YouTube about what a modest woman is considered to be and going ‘what, are you kidding?’, so what’s wrong with me? But on the other side, I have experienced God changing my heart into one of a daughter towards Him. I learned (through observation I think, but it must be through the Holy Spirit) how to react in certain situations, what other people are like and also an introduction to what men are like or supposed to be like. I learned, for example, that every man needs to have the opportunity, no not men, but even boys, should get the oppportunity to lead, make their own decisions and not have mothers and/or sisters telling them what to do or give constant advice. Boys are supposed to be with their father and girls with their mother. I don’t mean that kids should not spend time together and that girls don’t need their fathers attention and that boys don’t need their mothers attention. But, they certainly need to be instructed into their lifes. The bible says that women should be examples to others, especially those younger than them. The passage is in my notebook and I don’t have it here. I like that idea, but I also believe that parents who intend tp do that should have an absolute good understanding of what a woman (in God) is and is supposed to be. Anyways, I am struggling with the idea of the biblical perception of a woman. I am still not comfortable with the idea of submitting to
anyone (but Christ). I don’t feel like I can create that space in my life to ahve someone else taking so much from me. But on the other side, I fully understand that no woman can enter a relationship and be unsubmissive. (Hooray to singleness!) I also understand that I have to give my brothers (in Christ), the men in my family, my colleagues and classmates that space as men, to be men and I know I can, because I am trying to implement that.
But the idea of having to give some portion of my so called independance up, freaks me out. I don’t like modesty!
I have even avoided talking to God about these things, because I don’t want to hear Him tell me that I eventually will adjust to His ideas, because I love Him.
But, at the end of the day, I am glad that I am still single, that I have men in my life that I can learn to respect in their full masculinity. Let me bring up a side line, the same way people think a woman shouldn’t be asked her age, a man shouldn’t be underestimated. Men don’t like saying where they are going, because they can easily change route and when they come back an hour later (or less) than exoected, they wouldn’t like to explain where they where. I am not saying that that is a good thing, but this is something that brings so much misunderstanding in relationships.! It’s inimaginable.
So, as I was saying, at the end of the day, I know that someday I will rest assured and know that I have a quiet heart, be a submissive wife (ieks/yuk) and most importantly, an example to girls younger than me. I trust God for that and know it will come to pass. E. Williams said, according to the bible, that when something seems totally controversial to reality, we know then that it is God, so I expect Him to guide me, not like an impatient girl with a stick in her hands, waiting for a student to make some mistake (ofcourse not!), but as my only hope and designer of my life.