Trustee

I was fine until I saw your injustice

Up till then you and I were fine

For as long as I can remember, your every wish was also mine

When my eyes fell open to your hidden lies

I could no longer unsee them

They were as clear as day light

Before a wanderer’s eyes

Now I smile when you hurt me

Moan but softly when you thrust your daggers into my frail skin

When I am no longer here, only

Might your recovery begin.

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Crimson path

You again!

I really, really hate you. I wish I could avoid you and get rid of you. But I am careful with what I wish for. Because every time you strike, it’s ‘poor me’ again.

You! How I wish you never knew me. Although I know you’re supposed to be good. You are nothing short of a curse.

How I wish I could hate you with a passion. But I can only hope for that much energy. For you make me so sleepy.

At first you give me cravings. Then you make me cranky. And after that you make me sleepy, picky. You also make me suffer. I fall ill at your hands. I can’t help but think that your only interest in me are evil plans. Yoy make me angry. And week. Though sometimes help me become humble and realise I am actually really fragile. That I nees love and care and everything I long to give, that I also deserve a caring hand.

I know you are supposed to bring me good. But I wish you were always good. Sometimes my faith gets shaken as I wonder ‘what more do I need to know and need to do God, can’t You just make it okay.’ So I don’t really talk to Him when you’re around. Because maybe I am doing something wrong.

I only wish that you are worth it. For if you prove you are not . . .I mean, I can’t only be in my twenties and already looking forward to menopause. If you actually aren’t any good, even if you are…would you please consider being kind to me.

There’s a strain from loneliness on my back

Right between my shoulders

And it feels bittersweet

Like when you feel at home

But the house seems too empty

Like having wings to fly

But being scared of height 

Alone

With my own thoughts 

Makes me feel content 

I could get up and slay demons

Figure a way out

And plan roadtrips for myself

But lately

I have been feeling a strain on my back

Just between my shoulderblades

I can never tell how to stop the ache

Could it be 

Maybe

That a firm hand

On that place

Would make it go away

Could it be so

That maybe

A hand to hold on a long drive

Would make the strain stray? 

And leave me courageous on my own again