Sweet delusions

I don’t want to see you everywhere I go

I don’t want to find you everywhere I turn

Not feel your soft breath any place I rest

and certainly not land in your arms on your chest

 

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until the next breath

It’s here

in my head

and I’m afraid I can’t shake it

I’m tired of having to have to

Why can’t I just let it happen

take over and be whatever it wants to

go wherever it feels it should

who even cares

hasn’t it always been this way

hasn’t this always been my voice, my life’s narrative

That I can’t

That I’m tired

That of a victim

And anything else

Is just one short inhalation

to land back at where we started

when two people decided I had to be here

and I by divine power chose the time when

I’ve heard numerous voices explain to me

But I’m still the one who has to make me understand

So once again

as tired as I am

I allow myself no other choice,

get up and shake it off

take a breath and smile

awaiting the next fight

 

 

These days

It may seem as if

I don’t laugh

Don’t listen to stories

And don’t want to talk

But the thing is

The only thing I really want

Is your presence 

And all roars of laughter, even the faintest smile

All stories 

Mean absolutely nothing at all

Because. . .

Well, you know, you will never be here with me 

A minor nuisance, love

There is this minor nuisance
They seem to call it love
It has likely fallen down around me
And is closing me in

It all started
With a second thought
A second glance
On your second glance
On everything you have embodied

They seem to be together
They seem to hold eachother
And guide eachother
And that exactly
Is what separates us from them

We have,
How do I put it,
We have become,
No, we have not become
But we have faded
Into nothing
Nothing but perhaps
Nothing, but maybe
But impossible

There is this minor nuisance
I used to think
They called it love
But it is just that you don’t know me
And none of the above