Aside

Reminder for healing

Here,

Inside the dark of this gloomy room

I feel like a foetus in a mother’s womb

Looking ahead to days of the past

And all I endured, becoming who I am

When I loved like there could never be tomorrow

Only to find out that tomorrows, though never promised, always do come.

I hope that when I am born

I can love again, in a way that is solely mine

just so loves I cannot harbor, don’t take their leave with mine.

***Whenever you get attached to something or someone, whatever of whoever, letting go will take time. Remember to heal. Always take time to heal. And forgive. Forgive whatever it is that was latched unto you and you had yourself latched unto, no matter their part in the process. Forgive yourself for allowing yourself to bruise yourself and the other party in such a way. Do heal. It makes everything better.

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Guarantee

Love was guaranteed

Love had guaranteed to mend

the wounds in the wall

the fists that were pounded open

would be rebuilt

blood would creep back

and fill the cracks

breaths would be taken

and shoulders would relax

Love was guaranteed

Yet

never stood a chance

What breaks my heart is that I wonder if this world really is the place I want to bring children into.
Having a family is a wonderful, tiring but wonderful experience I hope to go through one day. But when I look around me, it seems that the desire to have a family alone is not enough. I am discouraged by deaths that don’t make sense, murders, divorces, disease, mental states that people can get in. And I wonder ‘is it all worth it’, do I even have time for all that? Most of the time my thinking is that it will happen when it happens, but at times I wonder if I not better just steer away from it all.

I see people my age and younger getting into relationships and starting families as if it is no big deal. For example a couple that does not know what faith to bring their child up in. Although that doesn’t have to be a problem, you can save yourself so much agony by talking about stuff before getting involved.

Anyway, I think that that is just life ain’t it?

Growing and grooming

You love a man and decide to give him your all but he hasn’t reserved enough love to give you when you haven’t become what he expected you would. This scars and scares my heart Makes me watch close, way too close.

How does one break away How does one simply break away from facts that are rubbed under your nose everyday? I wonder about your beliefs what they were and what became of them along the way.

Have you allowed this to happen or is this how you started right away What made you think you loved? I deem myself lucky to have both of you, but sometimes I think back on the days I wished you got out of each others way.
The best I feel I can do right now is move on. Move forward and up with my own life and leave you to mind your own. I cannot be your savior, just because you birthed and fostered me. I love you and always will and will do my best to treasure and take care of you. But that’s really all I can do.