Sometimes I wonder

when will my surrender be complete

when will I give my heart fully

and not reel it back in

when will I say ‘here I am’, stretching my arms open wide

and not turn back around into my own embrace

sometimes I wonder, how will this life of mine unfold

if I keep keeping on like this

and then I realise

it is not by might

nor by power

But by the Spirit I run away from

 

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Her eyes like whips they shoot and strike you wherever you are

she is fire that incinerates you

with the smoothness of her gaze and the sharpness of her tongue

any poison can be undone

her body a mixture of exclamation points and question marks

you can’t help but drink of the breaths from her lungs

meet her with fire if you want not to be burned

 

Dorst hangt

De dorst hangt er

Als een hemellichaam

Boven mijn hoofd

Rondom mijn universum

Oogluikend

Om toe te slaan

voordat mijn verhemelte

het gerucht van verschroeiing

Kan proeven

De dorst hangt er

Eeuwig op de achtergrond

om op te wellen

Bij de aankondiging

Van die ene

Heiligen naam

Als een hemellichaam

En valt

In miljoenen schilvers

Tegen mijn mens zijnde behoudenis

Aan.

Someday you realise

Those aren’t just hands

They are for arms that could hold you

It ain’t just a mouth speaking

But lips you could kiss over and over

And over again

It’s not just eyes

They’re mirrors you could see into even with your eyes closed

Someday you realise

They are just another part of the wholesome you

avenger

Don’t make me look crazy

I came back to life for you

You better not make me look crazy

I  harvested the moon and swallowed the night sky’s stars to get to you

Don’t make me look crazy

Underneath the sun you quenched my thirst

Held me under water during the thunder storm

bathed me in hot liquor to conceal time’s worms

Don’t make me look crazy

I have invested my womb in you

Don’t make me look crazy

I have no soul left nor pride

scared off the world for you

when you needed to hide

 

Smoke again

I’d like to inhale your smoke again

sit with you at the coffee table

and watch you destroy your livers with squinted eyes

though I wouldn’t place my arms around your shoulders

deep within, I know I’d carry on in life with a smile

for the fume you breath out carries to me

the marinated essence of your lies

I’d like to inhale your smoke again

breath out to me

take me home to the clouds

A seed as I

What if I touched you

and told you

there, that is where it hurts

This is the part that ails

and maybe even aches

to live again

What if I dared put my finger on it,

approached you

and locked your gaze with mine

So I could learn to breathe again

So you would know to be free again

What if I dared and did it?

Would you heal

or would you know

my hands don’t heal

they only deepen the bruise into a wound

would you heal

or would you become assured

that the last time anything was better

was before the light of your lost soul

burned it’s rays into mine

I know I’m sure we would be reborn

but I know of seeds that seek futile soil

to save themselves from life

after you, this is what I myself have become