I hope

I hoped it was love
Every time your spirit
Payed my eyes a visit

I hoped it was love
Everytime I saw you
In my dreams

I hope it is love
When your mother
At me in my dreams

I hope it is love
When I cannot breath
As my mind ignores
My senses
And dwells of
To behold you

I hope it is love
All these sleepless nights
This restlesness
This hope
This fear

I hope it is love
Taking me back
All the way back
When time froze you
In front of me

I hope it is love
That brings you back to me
That brings me back to you

A lump of hope

Sometimes we’re left

with a lump of hope

on our hearts

And it is all

we have

All we get to put in

All we pull our smiles from

and everything we live for

Sometimes we’re left

with a lump of hope

on our hearts

making it hard to swallow

all the portions

of bitterness

making it hard to chew down

all portions of fear

we get thrown down

our breath


a lump of hope

is all we’ve got

I just want to go wherever you go. Sometimes you lead, sometimes I’m strong. Whenever I’m lost you are my only sense of purpose. However far, however low, however deep you are.

I fail, faltering the burning of incense to calm senses. The vivid memory of your fragrance tempts my soul. How much further can we go, my heart aches to know. How deep does desperation last, let me know. Who knew how fearful this brave heart would get.

Here I am, caught with you. Light descends, all time ends.

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Should I?

I would want to say thank you

I would want to give a kiss

I would like to hug

or just in any simple way, show my gratitude

I would like to look into the eyes
of the one who looked
into my broken soul,
ever gave me a voice
ever held me tight
ever gave me shelter
for one hour of a dark night

Someone who only nodded at me
when they have done that to you

Anyone who just understands,

I would like for them to know
that I am grateful
their hands reached where mine can’t
their words spoke into hearts
that I can’t teach

If only you’d know,
If only I could…


Today I might spill things that I don’t want to and might not be able to account for. But as they are in me, I have to let them out, they aren’t things that need to dwell/abide inside of me.
I am currently (not now, but these days) taking masterclasses in spoken word and I absolutely love it! But it is something new to me and unusual and it has shifted me really. The instructor has used techniques to find out what my voice and style is, so yes, we are finding that out. The first day I found out (well, rather, got proof) that I am rather profound. Second day, that I have a few other voices that need to be spoken out and this was such a relieve/surprise for me. After the first day, I felt so shaken/shifted that I had to do soul searching in order to find out where the heck that side of me came from, and the second lesson did that too. Mama mia. Those masterclasses have spurred up so many things inside of me that I could have been writing since after the first lesson till now, at least that’s the way I feel. But of course i’d be ‘out written’ after a few sentences. So this instructor, Zulile Blinker, is a very wonderful artist, an artist in her whole being man! Fascinating, she lives and breaths words and not just words..it’s arts and oh , I have no words.
Anyways, words are my thing, totally my thing. I know that words and I are one, so i hope you understand why Blinker is so fantastical to me. in other words I admire the way she has developed her gift and spills it into the universe. So she, and these days have great impact on me, and everyone I met in the masterclasses.
And there will be a showcase, right? One where there’ll be dramatic poem reading and theater-ish presentations and I won’t be there. And I have been dreaming of a moment like that for so long, but clearly not long enough. So the only way I can be part of that night is by having taken the classes and have a piece of mine performed, well, I feel like that isn’t enough, but well, what can I do. I will be somewhere else, somewhere I critically need to be. Somewhere my future depends on. I believe that I will have other opportunities to be in a poetic night with such wonderful people. I highly recommend the showcase on the tenth of September in Tori Oso. You’ll get a taste of something wonderful, I promise on behalf of myself and all the participants.
And my faith isn’t a stand in the way for me to work with Blinker and everyone else who will be there, not at all. If my faith were, then I guess I should go practice church work full time. I’m not trying to dis church or something like that (God forbid) but just trying to make clear that I don’t plan on being caught up by [‘religiousness’.
Anyways, I also wonder what will happen after the masterclasses and the showcase. I so hope that I will be able to (co-)perform another time with the same wonderful folks yeah. Wonderful, talented and inspiring. It really is a wonderful experience. I almost feel like I’m on american idol or something like that, but only way better. It’s more personal and nobody who doesn’t know anything about spoken word gets to judge what we all do.
I hope this becomes a next generation of poets, writers and critiques or something heavy and valuable like that.