Again

Could you lift my feet from where I am standing, for I feel I’m falling.

Would you give me strength to rise from under this burden that makes me lower my beautiful head?

My eyes search in the distance for help, for truth. Failing my altar, leaving the incense unlit.

I fear my heart will give me up. Where have I left you when love found its way out my heart?

My lungs have run dry from crying out. The piercing in my soul has turned me pale.

From where can I run and hide into you.

Though I know that soon I’ll find you here.

Your arms wrapped around me and my heartbeat steady on your chest.

My arms to weak to strike your face. My eyes too damp to meet your fiery gaze. 

Run to me, would You? My knees are to weak to carry me further, I am not strong enough for this battle.

Hide me in You. Again.

 

 

 

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Jesus wants to take my place, my burdens

Today I read Ann Voskamp’s blog again. As I do everyday. She wrote about telling her kids about a guy that gave his life for someone else in Auschwitz. Then one sentence hit me: ‘Let me take your place’. 

I sometimes trouble myself with care for friends or loved ones. The burden feels so heavy and I worry that their pain’d be to heavy for me to carry and that I’d be too weak to pray right. But in the depths of my heart I have been crying out to the Father ‘what to do Lord, You do care do You, I am not overreacting am I?’

And I heard Him say something, but my mind was not clear to understand. So this morning He made Ann Voskamp  make it clear. ‘Jesus wants to take my place’. I don’t have to be weighed down by worry about anything, not even justified care for a loved one. He wants to make it alright, He wants to carry the burden. Will I allow Him to? Sure! It’s all His. My part remains to pray and trust, but carrying burdens can stop right here! 

Thank You Jesus, for caring about the smallest things and coming through in every possible way. Thank You for letting me know You care, You care more and You can do more than I could ever think, imagine or ask. 

And now about Ann Voskamp; she’s a blogger, a farmers wife and they have kids. By reading her blog I understand my father and my sister better. My father has (a few) cattle. He refuses to sell them (they bring up cash dude!) because he just loves having them. He also works on the land, people’s land. Our land is back in Haiti. And my sister says she wants to have a farm, marry a farmer and have lots of kids. I thought it was crazy, but now I understand. Thank you mrs. Voskamp, God bless you. Her blog is A Holy Experience.com

Fall to walk straight

Mijn hart barst uit haar voegen.
My heart leaps of off her beats.

I can’t explain it,
ik kan het niet verklaren,

Wait, I can
of nee, ik kan het wel.

Ik voel mij sterk,
I feel strengthened

I am not looking for love,
Ik zoek niet naar liefde

I choose to love,
ik verkies lief te hebben

I’m out of the dark
De donkere dagen zijn voorbij

Die zijn wel vast onderdeel van mijn groei hier op aarde
Wich is part of my growth

But I will move forward,
Ik ga onverhard door

Met een klein onderzoekje over Jezus
With a small request about Christ Jesus

Is er licht in mijn dag gekomen
Came a cloud through my dark night

I hate being emotional,
but sometimes falling down is the only guarantee we have for walking straight/upright

Ik haat het om emotioneel te zijn,
maar soms is terugval de enige garantie dat wij rechtop zullen (kunnen) lopen.

Ik houd van God,
When it gets dark in my life,
Vernieuwd Hij mijn levens kracht