It is a distant longing
That is too sacred for words
Too fragile to acknowledge
Too holy to describe
So one frowns
When it is displayed openly
One shivers
When it is told freely
One hurts
When it is broken off
Completely
Where fingers intertwine
Hearts sigh as one
Eyelids flutter together
And dreams beat one and the same drum
Words dry up
Sound is abomination
Tell tale, blasphemy
I wish somehow
My dreams would
Project themselves to you
so you could make your own judgement
On what you are to me
For in my vocabulary
There are no such words
As wishes and desires
they’re but borrowed
From people that know
How and have the strength
To express
What it is in this life
They aspire
Stay away from me
I ain’t no good
There is none of that in me
Not for you
Not in your case
I can pass the butter
but don’t let me sprinkle the salt
The only way fire can heal
Is for it to burn
I see you are self preserving
so see this as a public service announcement
directed at and dedicated to you
It is what it is
I want it
But I might not get it
And if I don’t
I will regret it
That is life
people get to live
and deal with regret
I can do this
Standing pale
afraid to exhale
Out of the shadows
of fear
Crawls imperfection
Would you behold
the traces of salt
on my face
and still refuse me
your embrace
She was an everyday Aphrodite
Straight men wanted her
Homosexuals wanted to be like her
Lesbians desired her
Straight women envied her
And some,
With a twist of lust
She even made a- sexual people curious
She had a grace about her
That novelists spend nights
Trying to capture
And directors fire entire casts over
I hunger for some soul
some deep, bottomless
fiery soul
to get together
and burn down
into the depths of the highest seas
and waste away upon cliffs
and hot sandy shores
I long for some soul
Lose myself and drink away
sip, drippidy tip tip
lick my lips
pause, sigh and go on
but wait
when there is no more fire left
to elevate my senses
I’ll bathe in the ashes
wait,
Time, take my control
I have no need of this burden
I am going
for some
soul.
It is not like I don’t want you to carry me away or do not want you near.
It is just that I cannot overcome my fear.
As I browse through the pages of my soul, like watermarks I find you in every corner.
Strangely, I can wipe it away with one certain blink. But with my heart, I’d paste it back again.
With the brightest smile I could wave you goodbye, but within this realm I’ll always find you, always hide you, always guide you. Wherever you go, back to my soul. It is not like I don’t know what you know. But it is just that I don’t want to pierce holes in anybody’s soul.
All the facts, fiction and fraction, fears and doubt and the unknown. I’m taking them on until I am fully grown or all of this is gone. We both know the sun won’t shine out of the dungeon and pierce through the comfortable night. I’m going home, I’m coming on, hoping.
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